Sometimes, even a close friend might have to say no to being a bridesmaid. Friends, its important not to bite off more than you can chew. The bride deserves to be surrounded by people with the time, energy, resources and desire to be a bridesmaid.  Brides, it is important to understand that saying no to being a bridesmaid  does not mean that your friend does not want to be a part of your wedding.

I have been to several weddings in the past few years where friends have taken on alternative roles. If you are a friend-of-the-bride who isn’t comfortable putting on a frilly dress, or can’t commit financially to being a full bridesmaid, here are a few ideas for playing a role in the wedding. Brides, take note!:

 1. Pastor, Priest, Rabbi…or Gay Best Friend?

For the non-religious, having a friend actually marry you is a great personal touch. I’ve been to two weddings in the past few years where a dear friend got their license online to marry their friends. So much fun to watch! I’ve seen this work out particulary well when the bride’s best friend is male, ad doesn’t really fit anywhere else in the wedding party. If you want the traditional church wedding, ask a friend to select a poem or prayer to read during the service.

 2. A Different Type of Flower Girl

Ask your artsy friends to take on a creative role in the weddings. I’ve seen friends do the flower arrangements,  photograph weddings, or decorate the tables.

3. First Dance with Flair

Have a musician friend? While you might want to stick to a DJ or band for the majority of the wedding, having a friend perform the first dance song can be fun! Or, have them perform while people are arriving for the wedding.

4. Guest Book Guru

I just attended a wedding where each guest was asked to pose for a polaroid photo on the way in. One of the brides friends took the role of “Guest Book MC”, snapping photos and directing everyone to sign the photo album before entering the ceremony.

5. Betty Crocker, Better than a Bridesmaid

While you might not be ready to give up complete catering control to your culinary-skilled friend, ask them to make the cake or some type of candy for favors. If you are nervous about the quality of their cookin’, have a test run at the shower or bachelorette party.